Be Careful What You Wish For…

Back in May I did something that was probably one of the stupidest things ever. I had liposuction. EXTENSIVE liposuction. I’m talking, being wheeled out thirty pounds lighter than when I walked in. I can’t even begin to explain to you how horrifying the procedure and recovery were. I felt like I was trapped in a terrifying nightmare and I couldn’t wake up. (I think they should replace waterboarding with lipo at Gitmo. No, too inhumane on second thought!) The pain was excruciating and lasted for weeks and weeks. I still have some discomfort and it’s been three months now. One of the worst parts of the procedure is what happened to my mouth…This not so brilliant and somewhat scummy plastic surgeon decided to take fat out from under my chin. He also took it upon himself to snip muscles on either side of my mouth so it wouldn’t turn down so much. (Assholes are always telling me to “SMILE!” when I just have a neutral expression.) Something went wrong during the procedure and a nerve was damaged. Now the left side of my mouth droops. My daughter (she’s oh so kind) said I look like I’ve been kicked in the face by a goat. Thanks, darling. It is just so depressing…The plastic surgeon from hell is SO dismissive and keeps saying, “oh, don’t worry! It’ll go away” like it’s nothing at all. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. I hate doctors who behave this way, which is why I will never set foot in his office again. ANYWAY, I went to see my pain specialist this morning to discuss my recent neck treatments and upcoming injections to T7-T9 to relieve back pain. I talked to him about my mouth and burst into tears. He was so dear, really is the best doctor I’ve ever met. He’s sending me to a neurologist to get to the bottom of the problem, to see how extensive the damage is to the nerve and to investigate the possibilty of Bell’s Palsy. I’m just glad that I’m finally going to get a prognosis and find out if this will go away on it’s own or what. It’s so hard to look in the mirror and not recognize yourself, or talk to someone on the phone that you’ve known for years and they don’t recognize your voice. I have a hard time talking and eating. I’ve had a hard time discussing it, or writing about it, so please realize this is tough for me. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I’ll post an update after I see the neurologist. Hopefully the appointment will be soon.

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Oh honey I’m sorry you’re going through that. A dear friend of mine had lipo 2 years ago and it was a much harder recovery than she had expected. I hope the neuro guy has some good answers for you. Good for you for being your own advocate and not taking the first doctor’s word for it. Hugs, Lindsay

  2. Ah, Lindsay, thank you for the kind words. Yeah, lipo was not at all what I expected, or what the plastic surgeon and his staff told me to expect. I was supposed to be back at work in a week. It took me three weeks, and by then my employer was so OVER it, he let me go. It’s been a tough road. I’m just lucky to have such a great husband to help me through this. It’s been hell on him, too, bless his heart.

  3. I am recommending a holistic treatment. Natural herbal remedies, perhaps acupuncture, added with a 15 minute sauna following 30 minutes of physical exercise (nothing strenuous) three days a week. Kind of an apology to the body, give it some time and encouragement to heal. Your very beautiful, I encourage you to seek out organic medicines and prescribe a custom diet. Peace and love – BONZAI!

  4. Sending you love and hugs – keep me posted. Pain has a way of wearing you down, and by you, I mean both of us, yours physical, mine mental.

    I will hang in there if you will.


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