Be Careful What You Wish For…

Back in May I did something that was probably one of the stupidest things ever. I had liposuction. EXTENSIVE liposuction. I’m talking, being wheeled out thirty pounds lighter than when I walked in. I can’t even begin to explain to you how horrifying the procedure and recovery were. I felt like I was trapped in a terrifying nightmare and I couldn’t wake up. (I think they should replace waterboarding with lipo at Gitmo. No, too inhumane on second thought!) The pain was excruciating and lasted for weeks and weeks. I still have some discomfort and it’s been three months now. One of the worst parts of the procedure is what happened to my mouth…This not so brilliant and somewhat scummy plastic surgeon decided to take fat out from under my chin. He also took it upon himself to snip muscles on either side of my mouth so it wouldn’t turn down so much. (Assholes are always telling me to “SMILE!” when I just have a neutral expression.) Something went wrong during the procedure and a nerve was damaged. Now the left side of my mouth droops. My daughter (she’s oh so kind) said I look like I’ve been kicked in the face by a goat. Thanks, darling. It is just so depressing…The plastic surgeon from hell is SO dismissive and keeps saying, “oh, don’t worry! It’ll go away” like it’s nothing at all. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. I hate doctors who behave this way, which is why I will never set foot in his office again. ANYWAY, I went to see my pain specialist this morning to discuss my recent neck treatments and upcoming injections to T7-T9 to relieve back pain. I talked to him about my mouth and burst into tears. He was so dear, really is the best doctor I’ve ever met. He’s sending me to a neurologist to get to the bottom of the problem, to see how extensive the damage is to the nerve and to investigate the possibilty of Bell’s Palsy. I’m just glad that I’m finally going to get a prognosis and find out if this will go away on it’s own or what. It’s so hard to look in the mirror and not recognize yourself, or talk to someone on the phone that you’ve known for years and they don’t recognize your voice. I have a hard time talking and eating. I’ve had a hard time discussing it, or writing about it, so please realize this is tough for me. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I’ll post an update after I see the neurologist. Hopefully the appointment will be soon.