I Can’t Sleep

I fell asleep around 10:30 and then woke up at 2:00 am hotter than old Billy Hell. I forgot to turn the thermostat down a degree or two before I went to bed, which usually means I will wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. You’ve got to love those fucking hot flashes, don’t ya? I hoped to fall back asleep fairly quickly, but it wasn’t in the cards. I’ve been up for two hours now, just farting around. I can’t decide if I should TRY to get back to sleep or just stay up. I’ve got to get the kiddo up around 7:00 for her first day back at school. OK. There it is. That’s the real reason I can’t get back to sleep. My poor kid had the worst time last year you can imagine. Junior year totally sucked. As I’ve already mentioned, her best friend committed suicide in October. Then, a short time later there was a horrible wreck involving four of her classmates and two of the girls died. Trauma, drama, fear, depression and grief were hanging over our heads for the rest of the year. Then her other dear friend moved to Kerrville. She said, “All of my friends are either dead or have moved away. I feel so alone.” I just so badly want her to have a good senior year. She dreads going back so badly and says she hates her school. That makes me so sad. We all just want our kids to be happy, right? I hope things will turn around when she goes to college. I think we’ve settled on a school that’s just 20-30 miles away. She was definitely stoked when she found out they have classes four days a week! Three day weekends, whoo hoo! On an up note, she had a girlfriend come over this afternoon. They went shopping and out to dinner and had a great time. Maybe this school year won’t be so bad. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

The good news is, she has a wonderful boyfriend that we all adore. The bad news is, he lives in Arizona. I should buy stock in Southwest Airlines.

Published in: on August 24, 2008 at 9:39 pm  Comments (4)  
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Driver’s Ed…Parent Taught!!!

Yes, I have taken on the duties of teaching my daughter to drive.  She has put it off and put it off and I finally got her to start the driving portion IF I TEACH HER.  She said the man at the driving school was a retired coach and he was creepy, so she didn’t want to get in the car with him.  OK.  Understood.  I wouldn’t want to, either. But, now I find myself at 53 teaching a 17 year old how to drive.  Having kids later in life can have weird repercussions.  I should be knitting or baking cookies.  Not holding on for dear life, trying like hell to push my right foot through the floorboard on the passenger side, as if that would somehow magically make the car FUCKING STOP BEFORE WE BACK END (no giggles here, either) A CAP METRO BUS.  Truthfully, she’s doing a good job.  It’s just that I have realized driving is one major step in her independence, and one more major step away from me.  We are going to look at a nearby college next week.  It’s only about 30 miles away, so I think I can deal with that.  I don’t think I could deal with her being hours and hours away from me.  I’m just not ready to let go.  This child has been such a mommy’s girl, her nickname used to be Velcro.  She was stuck to my hip like rubber cement.  Now I feel her moving away at an absurd speed.  She’s gone to plaid. (Spaceballs, anyone?)  My husband is talking about retiring, my daughter’s leaving home next year and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

Published in: on August 21, 2008 at 2:14 pm  Comments (5)  
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